Fred and Rita are in the college library. Rita is studying for an exam. Fred is looking at a nature magazine.


Rita: You wanted me to help you with that Maths problem?

Fred: Not looking up from his magazine In a minute. Have a look at these spiders! They’re really scary


Rita: Pulls a face. No way! You know I hate spiders.

Fred: But these are just pictures. They can’t jump out of the magazine and bite you.


Rita: I don’t care. I just don’t want to think about spiders

Fred: What about the one on the floor behind you?

Rita: Jumps up Where?

Fred: It ran under the table. I think it came from that little hole in the floor.

Rita: Still on her feet How big is it?

Fred: Trying not to laugh Pretty big. I wonder where it went?

Rita: Jumps back again I can’t work here with a spider around.

Rita begins packing her things away

Fred: Don’t go, Rita. The spider has gone now. Look, you can’t see him anywhere

Rita: But he could come back.

Fred: No, he won’t. Now, about this Maths problem -

Rita: Sorry, Fred. I can’t stay here with a spider in the room. I’m going to work at home

Fred: Don’t be silly, Rita! I was only joking – there is no spider! And I need help with this Maths question. Come back!

But it’s too late. Rita has left the room.









The Fred and Rita dialogues first appeared in Ming Pao Daily in 2008.

Text: © 2009 Kieran McGovern